I need to continue this blog for myself and not for anyone else, necessarily. I gave up a battle, but I am still in the war to become healthy. Since last posting, I gained and my weight hovered around 288 lb. before I went in to have bunion surgery on my right foot in late April. I am committed to continuing my journey to become healthy and to be worthy of being healthy.
THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN MAY OF 2010, BUT I NEGLECTED TO PUBLISH IT. :(
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Driver's License's Fibs
I don't know how three months escaped me without posting, but I guess it has. The good news is that I've now lost 35 pounds and just realized that this places me just nine pounds heavier than my driver's license claims! I began this journey at 294 and I'm now at 259, exactly nine pounds heavier than my license has claimed for years and years. It's funny how I notice small accomplishments along the way to my goal.
On another note, last spring my cholesterol was the lowest it's ever been and both Ann, my doctor, and i were delighted. I could see how the changes I'd maded were making a significant impact on my health and it felt good. I couldn't see eating any differently.
THEN summer struck and I began to fall into eating only two meals a day and driving through McD's when I was running short on time or wanted to enjoy the summer instead of cooking and taking care of myself. It began to take its toll even more when I started dating someone who liked to dine out as much as I do. By the time I went in for a routine visit in mid-September, my cholesterol readings were the worst they've ever been; I had lost all that I had gained. To add further insult, the doctor I saw this time is a much younger one that I am who thinks that I haven't a brain in my head and needs to inform me that "cholesterol comes from meat" and "skim milk is better than whole milk." Lord. She wants me to walk three times a week when my right ankle feels like a knife is stabbing into it by spells (one of the reasons I had been in to see the doctor in the first place about six weeks ago) and she's just now ordering an x-ray.
Enough venting. No one is responsible for my eating and exercising except me and I am the only one who can make a change in my life. I'm beginning to do better again with eating and hope to begin walking more, as my ankle allows. I think my outlook is good and I know that I will reach my goal of 170 - 175 lb.; whether I achieve this goal by March, I doubt, but I will reach it.
And did I mention I can now wear an 18/20 generally, an XL in jackets, and a 24 in jeans? That's down from 26/28, 3x, and 28, respectively. :D I guess I need to focus on the positive....
On another note, last spring my cholesterol was the lowest it's ever been and both Ann, my doctor, and i were delighted. I could see how the changes I'd maded were making a significant impact on my health and it felt good. I couldn't see eating any differently.
THEN summer struck and I began to fall into eating only two meals a day and driving through McD's when I was running short on time or wanted to enjoy the summer instead of cooking and taking care of myself. It began to take its toll even more when I started dating someone who liked to dine out as much as I do. By the time I went in for a routine visit in mid-September, my cholesterol readings were the worst they've ever been; I had lost all that I had gained. To add further insult, the doctor I saw this time is a much younger one that I am who thinks that I haven't a brain in my head and needs to inform me that "cholesterol comes from meat" and "skim milk is better than whole milk." Lord. She wants me to walk three times a week when my right ankle feels like a knife is stabbing into it by spells (one of the reasons I had been in to see the doctor in the first place about six weeks ago) and she's just now ordering an x-ray.
Enough venting. No one is responsible for my eating and exercising except me and I am the only one who can make a change in my life. I'm beginning to do better again with eating and hope to begin walking more, as my ankle allows. I think my outlook is good and I know that I will reach my goal of 170 - 175 lb.; whether I achieve this goal by March, I doubt, but I will reach it.
And did I mention I can now wear an 18/20 generally, an XL in jackets, and a 24 in jeans? That's down from 26/28, 3x, and 28, respectively. :D I guess I need to focus on the positive....
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Slow progress, but progress...I'll take it!
June has been a month of struggle for me, but luckily, I have a great team of people helping me on this journey. Debbie Pepper-Dougherty reminded me that obesity is a chronic disease and that it won't be "cured" quickly; it is best to look over each day and think about how the choices I made could be improved even further. Sally said that as I dive into facing the fears that have held me back from taking care of myself in the past, the journey may slow down and plateau. I need to be patient and not think that I'm a failure if I don't lose weight for a week or two. Espahbad seemed thrilled when I told him, "I've fallen off the weight loss wagon! I feel horrible!" He laughed, listened, and then wisely said, "Oh, good! You've gotten into the (bad stuff) and you're dealing with it. That's good!" Let me tell you, it didn't feel good at the time. ;)
My subsequent hypnosis sessions have been good, but the one yesterday was probably the most powerful. I feel rejuvenated and able to handle anything. Cindy and I walked at the Runnals Trails at Colby today and it was great to huff and puff my way up the hills and then enjoy the serenity of the pine needle-covered trails under the trees. Sophie and Coolidge sniffed, played, and trotted along with us, reminding me that movement brings happiness and contentment. I surprise myself when I'm able to walk on trails for an hour or more. This is progress.
Last time I checked my weight, it was 267, but that was last week. I see Debbie on Tuesday and so I will hold off from weighing in anywhere until then. I want to walk at least twice more and hope that the exercise, paired with my good eating habits, will bring about more success. I'm looking forward to being below 260, a place I haven't been since I was in my early 30s. I would love to be around 230 before school starts. Wow! Just imagine. :)
My subsequent hypnosis sessions have been good, but the one yesterday was probably the most powerful. I feel rejuvenated and able to handle anything. Cindy and I walked at the Runnals Trails at Colby today and it was great to huff and puff my way up the hills and then enjoy the serenity of the pine needle-covered trails under the trees. Sophie and Coolidge sniffed, played, and trotted along with us, reminding me that movement brings happiness and contentment. I surprise myself when I'm able to walk on trails for an hour or more. This is progress.
Last time I checked my weight, it was 267, but that was last week. I see Debbie on Tuesday and so I will hold off from weighing in anywhere until then. I want to walk at least twice more and hope that the exercise, paired with my good eating habits, will bring about more success. I'm looking forward to being below 260, a place I haven't been since I was in my early 30s. I would love to be around 230 before school starts. Wow! Just imagine. :)
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