I started using Slim-Fast on Tuesday and had lost 7 lb. by Friday morning. Tuesday and Wednesday were so difficult. I was hungry, which I have to say was something I haven't felt in a long time. Not true hunger. I got grumpy and anxious, but just rode it out and stayed on program. I use SF products for breakfast, lunch, and snacks, and then had a regular dinner. On Tuesday, I actually ate too much for dinner and didn't feel well, but Wednesday through Friday, I actually ate and felt better after, which was soulfully satisfying. Today, I'm meeting a friend for breakfast, sharing a holiday dinner with my aunt in the nursing home, and then have picked up some delicious looking pork chops for dinner. Although I won't be on-program today, I will not let myself feel I am "cheating," but practicing healthy eating choices.
And on a pure excitement level: SEVEN POUNDS DOWN! Woo hoo! Go, me! I am only three pounds away from making my first "Just Ten" goal and will then move my blue bracelet to my right hand. After I meet the next ten, I will move it back to the left. I am so grateful for Dr. Oz for proposing a small goal as so healthy and doable for viewers. Even just seven pounds down, I have so much more energy and my clothes feel a lot looser. I'm a loser! LOL
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Where Will I Find the Strength?
I just re-joined Slim-Fast yesterday and I've started the program today. I am 47, weigh 278, and want to stay on the program until March of 2011. I am hoping SF will give me the faster weight loss that will get me motivated to continue. I don't like that I'm not using "real" food for most of my food intake, but I will trade off if it helps me get over the hump of getting started.
So far today, I have been following the program except for a medium coffee from Dunkin' Donuts (with cream and sugar), and I'm ravenous! I had hoped to space out my snacks throughout the day, but I don't know if I can. I've drank five servings of fluids, but some of those were caffeinated.
My quilting group went out to a local restaurant for our Christmas party and there weren't many appropriate choices to eat. I suppose I was looking at is a "last hurrah," but I had French onion soup as an appetizer, small salad (dressing on the side), and cannelloni with spinach as the main course. I had expected it to resemble the cannelloni I've had that is Lean Cuisine brand, but instead it was covered in a rich, creamy sauce and had just a little red sauce. It was delicious if I avoided the pools of fat, but then I felt a pain in my chest and I was convinced it was my arteries closing down from the calories and fat. I immediately put down my fork and stopped eating.
I woke up in the middle of the night with acid in my mouth, choking and coughing and gagging. It took me quite a while to settle down and return to sleep. Images of the cannelloni and memories of the chest pain filled my mind. I carry such a burden living in the fear that any day could be my last and the fleeting twinge of chest pain that I experienced in a restaurant could return to be a full-fledged cardiac event. Heart attack. Cardiac arrest. And I'll kick the bucket, cease to live, pass away, pass on, die. I am filled with terror.
God, please let this be the last time I am at this weight and help me to be successful in treating my body as well as it deserves to be treated.
So far today, I have been following the program except for a medium coffee from Dunkin' Donuts (with cream and sugar), and I'm ravenous! I had hoped to space out my snacks throughout the day, but I don't know if I can. I've drank five servings of fluids, but some of those were caffeinated.
My quilting group went out to a local restaurant for our Christmas party and there weren't many appropriate choices to eat. I suppose I was looking at is a "last hurrah," but I had French onion soup as an appetizer, small salad (dressing on the side), and cannelloni with spinach as the main course. I had expected it to resemble the cannelloni I've had that is Lean Cuisine brand, but instead it was covered in a rich, creamy sauce and had just a little red sauce. It was delicious if I avoided the pools of fat, but then I felt a pain in my chest and I was convinced it was my arteries closing down from the calories and fat. I immediately put down my fork and stopped eating.
I woke up in the middle of the night with acid in my mouth, choking and coughing and gagging. It took me quite a while to settle down and return to sleep. Images of the cannelloni and memories of the chest pain filled my mind. I carry such a burden living in the fear that any day could be my last and the fleeting twinge of chest pain that I experienced in a restaurant could return to be a full-fledged cardiac event. Heart attack. Cardiac arrest. And I'll kick the bucket, cease to live, pass away, pass on, die. I am filled with terror.
God, please let this be the last time I am at this weight and help me to be successful in treating my body as well as it deserves to be treated.
I need to do this for me
I need to continue this blog for myself and not for anyone else, necessarily. I gave up a battle, but I am still in the war to become healthy. Since last posting, I gained and my weight hovered around 288 lb. before I went in to have bunion surgery on my right foot in late April. I am committed to continuing my journey to become healthy and to be worthy of being healthy.
THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN MAY OF 2010, BUT I NEGLECTED TO PUBLISH IT. :(
THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN IN MAY OF 2010, BUT I NEGLECTED TO PUBLISH IT. :(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)